Interview with a Follower

Welcome to a new occasional feature on this blog where I interview one of my recent followers.

This week, I interview the most recent new follower who, apparently, has decided to follow this blog after having read no articles on the blog, liked any articles on the blog or, as far as I can see, even visited the blog.

Me: Welcome PickVitamin Blog.

PickVitaminBlog: Thank you. Pleased to be here getting this free publicity.

Me: What is that drew you to my blog?

PickVitaminBlog: It was there.

Me: I see. Kind of like a mountaineers reason for climbing Everest?

PickVitaminBlog: No, it was just in the list of blogs on the reader that day.

Me: But surely you have been drawn a little bit by the scintillating content of the blog?
A tiny bit?

PickVitaminBlog: Ummm… No.

Me: Oh. Now, I actually visited your blog for research purposes before this article and I can see that you blog mainly about… just check my notes… ah yes, Vitamins. Is it a competitive field at all?

PickVitaminBlog: I believe there may be a few of us doing Vitamin sites.

Me: I see. What differentiates yours then?

PickVitaminBlog: Differentiates?

Me: Yes, what is your USP as it were?

PickVitaminBlog: Sorry, I don’t understand the question.

Me: Why should I follow your site rather than any other site?

PickVitaminBlog: Oh… umm… well I don’t think it matters.

Me: Really?

PickVitaminBlog: Oh yes, I’m not blogging anything new or exciting. Just trying to sell vitamins to gullible people. There must be tens of thousands of versions of my site basically the same, just a randomised order, and most of the affiliate links earn the same company’s money.

Me: Do you think bloggers get annoyed by seeing the notification that they have a new follower, only to find it’s yet another Vitamin selling site?

PickVitaminBlog: Don’t even think about it.

Me: How does it work then?

PickVitaminBlog: What, vitamin supplements? I doubt they do. A balanced diet provides all the vitamins anyone really needs, the rest is just a selling the things based on peoples health fears. We always say ‘Clinically proven to help health’, because well, vitamins do, we just don’t mention that you can get all of it from your food and don’t really need our stuff. I don’t expect it can really do any harm, except for that one bloke who seems to order tons of the carotene Vitamin C one and has gone a bit orange.

Me: Doesn’t send them a bit crazy or anything?

PickVitaminBlog: Well, I think any of them that buy anything from a link provided on a random website on WordPress are probably a bit that way to start with.

Me: As opposed to..?

PickVitaminBlog: Well, you know, people who went to learn about stuff properly at Universities, is a registered proper professional like a dietician and not just an ‘experienced nutritionist’ and you actually meet after being referred to see one by your doctors.

Me: So not many takers from the blogging world as most of us intelligent-enough-to-put-some-words-in-the-right-order sorts can see through that sort of shit right away then?

PickVitaminBlog: Oh, millions.

Me: Millions?

PickVitaminBlog: Have you even seen how much useless stuff is sold by people being told they should have it otherwise their life is a worthless, meaningless void and their peers won’t look up to them if they don’t project the right image and they should be afraid to not have it for their own wellbeing and self-image? Like, have you seen how many bottles of water are sold? Water! With a label and a bottle worth more than what’s in it! That’s what we do for vitamins.

Me: I see. I noticed you only have 234 followers yourself.

PickVitaminBlog: Well, I’ve only been going since half past ten.

Me: Well, thank you for being interviewed.

PickVitaminBlog: That’s OK, I probably don’t even know I had been did I?

Me: No.

I have been known to put a bit of text in this small italics bit below a post which is often totally irrelevant to the post above. Hopefully you have just read the post above and perhaps have moved on to this bit to see if there is anything better here. There isn’t. Sorry. But you might like to share the post anyway, especially if you’re the sort who can’t see why you should suffer it all alone.

8 thoughts on “Interview with a Follower

    1. It is a scientific FACT that you can get all the vitamins you need by eating only the custard bit between the biscuit bit in four custard creams per hour. It seems a waste not to eat the biscuit bit so I always eat that too of course.
      After a day of that, feel free to visit PickVitaminsBlog to purchase more vitamins, they make a nice splashy sound in the loo after you pee them straight out again..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t know that about custard creams but because you wrote ‘fact’ in capitals I am convinced that you are telling the truth. I’d better eat eight to be on the safe side.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank goodness we can unsubscribe these bits of wasted space on WordPress. I hear ‘Wagon Wheels’ are healthy too. However, ever since they decreased the size of each one, I have to eat at least two to make up for what I used to get when eating one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I think my dear old Nan was wrong when she said ‘If you eat too many of those you’ll end up looking like one’. I never turned out looking like a Penguin at all. More a Walrus really.

      Liked by 1 person

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